Wide Audience
So I guess if you type ‘how to seduce your daughter’ into Google, that Authentic Personality will be listed in the results. Last night sometime someone typed in that phrase and paid us a nice little visit. They didn’t stay long. Evidently Authentic Personality is not very detailed on daughter seduction. I hope the person wasn’t serious. If you are reading this now, and you are a daughter, I’ve just raised the alert level to orange. All you daughters out there are to suspect your parents - especially if it is a male parent. Yes, statitistics show that usually when a daughter is being seduced it is by a male parent. You might want to buy some duct tape and some chicken noodle soup.
Now I don’t know anything about seducing your daughter. I don’t condone that behavior, but in the interest of transparency I suppose there is an article on the site that will get your daughter’s hand to seduce you. Step number one is to have a massive stroke.
Snackrabbit said,
10.26.05 at 10:14 am
What is the purpose of the duct tape and soup? I’d think the daughter should be making plans to LEAVE, not to stay hunkered down in her parents’ den of seduction.
Now, seduction itself doesn’t seem too bad, it’s just a kind of technique for persuasion, usually associated with sex, but not necessarily. Vader was after all trying to seduce Luke to join the dark side, not to put his mechanical parts in him.
So maybe the searcher was looking for techniques to seduce his daughter, not for sexual reasons, but for corruptive ones. Maybe she’s a dowdy nerd, pledged to faith, god, and country. Maybe daddy is a non-conformist who can’t bear to see his daughter miss out on fringe elements of life, like crime, puppy kicking, and sniffing glue. Thus, his wish to seduce her now just seems ill advised, but not necessarily perverse. You can lower the alert level back down to purple.
Then again, this is the internet, so he’s probably a perv.
beesucker said,
10.26.05 at 11:48 am
Um. The Duct Tape is for the nerve agent . . . duh. And your suggestion to lower the alert level to purple is truely wreckless! Are you suggesting that we should not be vigilant against all forms of seduction?
This is a War on Seduction!
Red
Orange
Yellow
Purple?
Chartreuse
Snackrabbit said,
10.26.05 at 1:59 pm
Perhaps some caution is warranted but I still think Orange is too high. Maybe Yellow would work to keep us sort of on edge about the Seducers, but not quite terrified of them.
I think that you should place an Our Daughters Security alert meter prominently on the front page of this blog and it might be helpful to create a key for the color codes. I’m curious as to how the levels of seduction will be distributed among the colors. What constitutes Red Seduction?
beesucker said,
10.26.05 at 2:06 pm
The levels represent the possibility of daughters being seduced.
So:
Red means your daughter is currently being seduced
Orange means your daughter is almost definantly going go be seduced
Yellow means that while your daughter might not be seduced, still, she might
Purple means stay away from Barney
Charteuse will get you drunk and kinda high