Does this Describe You?

Are you a narcissist? Funny thing is, if you say ‘no’, it may be due to narcissism. Here’s a really interesting read that is about how the Lama helps a spiritual student to shed his ego-grasping.

Narcissistic Qualities

• need for admiration
• lack of empathy
• overestimation of abilities
• inflation of accomplishments
• assumption that others attribute the same value to their efforts that they do
• devaluation of the contributions of others
• preoccupation with fantasies of success and power
• Rumination about overdue recognition
• believe they’re superior in some way
• expect others to recognise them in these terms
• feeling they can only be understood by, or associate with, people of high status
• belief that their needs are special
• feeling that self-esteem is enhanced by the status of those with whom they associate
• They’re likely to insist on having only the highest Lama as their teacher. Their self esteem is actually quite fragile
• Exhibit a need for constant attention and recognition
• Utilise charm to disguise their sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment
• They expect to be catered for, and are puzzled or insulted when this doesn’t happen.

Link to Article

Now nobody likes a labeler and this is a psychological term but it is important to not sluff off these things in a sweeping way. They are all activities born of ignorance, hatred and strong desire, which means that the narcissist is a miserable person. Applying the antidote to these and any feelings that come out of hatred, strong clinging, and ignorance brings more happiness.

I think that my whole path in Buddhism has been about becoming un-narcissistic. Infact, the lack of the above qualities is what I would term “authentic personality”. In order to free ourselves from narcissitic thinking and action, we must recognize these qualities in ourselves and apply the antidotes. These antidotes are based on the fact that the mind can only think of one thing at a time - so if you are feeling hatred, the antidote for that hatred is patience or love. One can not feel love and hatred at the same time for the same object. This style of applying antedotes can seem exhausting, one would have to be very mindful . . . it is better to find the source of all of the problems and cut there. But if you can not find the source and you don’t know how to cut, then learn the antidotes and apply them. The opposite of envy is rejoicing in the accomplishments of others. The opposite of ignorance of our nature is to meditate on our nature.

No one is serener than Sri Dhananjai Bikram; I am the greatest monk of all time!