The Bodhisattva’s Way of Life – Chapter 6 ‘Patience’
Hello and Tashidelek. I think that a lot of times life is very difficult for all of us and we feel that perhaps our problems are very big – so big that we would not be able to practice spirituality. Maybe we also think that spirituality doesn’t help us in the ‘real world’, in the day-to-day living situation. It seems sometimes like reading books and going to teachings is about giving us peace for an hour or for a day, or if we are very lucky, an entire weekend. But going out every weekend or reading 500 page books to get a moment of peace seems like a lot of work, perhaps. Extending that work so that we are practicing every single moment seems impossible from that perspective. How could we possibly have that much energy and discipline to hang out with the Buddhadharma every second? We have many, many regrets and mistakes that we have made in the past that distract us – that cause us to believe that we would not be capable of being so compassionate, and so loving, like the Buddha. We might think about the future and about how such a view would be very difficult to maintain while still being productive and effective in a very competitive world. Perhaps we are justifiably angry at an enemy or we are afraid that this path isn’t the True path, despite the fact that its teachings resonate so deeply with us. There seems to be so many things that stand in the way of our becoming true practitioners of the Path – from becoming Bodhisattvas and saving all beings from suffering.
Generally, I think that our heads are filled with roadblocks and difficulties. I think that is the nature of the unenlightened mind. The mind is constantly relating to itself and judging itself and measuring itself. Hearing about the Buddha can make us especially neurotic because when the mind does its rating thing, we find ourselves to be very far away from the Buddha; and if Buddhahood is the goal, then we see ourselves as infinitely far away from that goal. It is very difficult. We get angry, disillusioned, jealous, tired, frustrated, bored, frightened, depressed, and all kinds of things all the time. Our minds spin up like tops and spin round and around with self-doubt and uncertainty.
Then we read a book, or see a movie, or hear a story, or smell a flower, or fall in love. We might have a child, or get the car cleaned, or call an old friend. We feel better. Our head quiets down, the whole thing seems manageable. We might go to a teaching and learn about compassion and get a great feeling of relief. We might think that everything is beautiful and just right and great. Maybe I should take up yoga, or karate, or meditation – maybe everything can be just fine. It’s wonderful how free we can feel all of the sudden. We suddenly don’t feel so lost and cold and alone. Suddenly we feel it might be possible to love and to share and to even be the Buddha some day!
Then we stub our toe, or go to California and everything is way too expensive, or our parents do that thing that is just so annoying and we get angry, disillusioned, jealous, tired, frustrated, bored, frightened, depressed, and all kinds of things. Our minds spin up like tops and spin round and around with self-doubt and uncertainty.
So our lives seem to be marked by periods of difficulty, capped with moments of relief which grow into more difficulty! Man! Are you serious?
Patience
Unfortunately, I waited way to long to finish this post and so the details of Rinoche’s teachings on Patience are not very sharp in my mind. Please don’t take these words as authoritative. This only illustrates my understanding.
Rinpoche said that it is important not to confuse Patience with Tolerance. Tolerance indicates some manner of calm suffering through an event with no attempt to create a better situation. For instance, an abused wife might tolerate the violence inflicted upon her by her husband. This is very different from Patience and is actually a hinderance to any spiritual practice. Rinpoche has said that suffering is not necessary. We must forgive ourselves and others to develop a truely compassionate attitude. Patience helps to foster this attitude by removing the tendancy to judge and react to situations, creating more and more neurotic behaviors rooted in self-interested preservation of territory. What I mean by that is illustrated in the blog entry, ‘Pride Vs. Proud’ above.
Given all of the difficulties in life it would seem that a patience born of understanding the nature of those difficulties would be extremely valuable. Rinpoche broke down the understanding of Patience into the following outline:
- The Patience of Acceptance.
- The Patience of Understanding
- The Patience of Appreciation
Things are what they are. So this is kind of the opposite of complaining. I live in Phoenix. It gets hot here. Every summer it is hot and every summer people say, ‘It is so hot, i wish it was cool again. They might say this all summer. This is a lack of patience. Hot is hot, cold is cold. When spring comes the flowers grow on their own.
Certain knowledge helps one to gain patience. If you know the following as facts it can bring a great deal of patience. Understand the following essential Truths of phenomenon:
Understanding of Karma
Phenomenon are interdependent. This means that everything has many causes and those causes have causes. So with this knowledge it is impossible to blame something for its nature. You realize that its nature is dependent on many things and those things also are dependent. There is nothing that exists independently of its causes.
Understanding of Impermanance
That which arises will come to cessation. This understanding will help you to not be upset when your car falls apart or your loved ones die. If you truley understand this then patience will come. You might think, ‘but I don’t like that things are impermananet’. Its helpful then to refer to The Patience of Acceptance, above.
Understanding of Emptiness
All Phenomena is void of findable characteristics. All phenomena is void of existing in an impossible way. This goes very deep and I hope I can get some resoursces here in the future to help us understand this better. For now, think that things are not inherently good and bad or any other set of opposites. These labels only come from thinking and have no bareing on what is actually being labeled. So something you think is bad is really only considered bad based on certain conditions. If you change your view then the bad thing can become good, or neutral.
Difficult situations are the most profound teachers on the spiritual path.